


Piece of Me I Wish I Didn’t Need

by gayfishjelly



Series: Left My Soul in His Vision [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Awkward Romance, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Pre-Relationship, i forgot how to tag so thats all folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-20 23:25:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21289901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayfishjelly/pseuds/gayfishjelly
Summary: Waves and waves of guilt rolled over his body, the weight of what he did almost too much. He couldn’t help but tell himself he was being selfish and cruel, only torturing the one person he cared for most. After all, he had refused to move on; Atem chose to be bound to Yugi, and rejected setting himself free. Rejected settingYugifree.
Relationships: Atem/Mutou Yuugi, Mutou Yuugi/Yami Yuugi
Series: Left My Soul in His Vision [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534748
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	Piece of Me I Wish I Didn’t Need

**Author's Note:**

> so basically everything hurts and now I’m goin fix it with sum fanfic
> 
> actual notes are that I’m not finished with the manga or the anime, but i’m spoiled beyond belief,, so just blur the events of the manga & anime with vague concepts of anything past mid battle city arc for the anime & duelist kingdom for the manga
> 
> however the dartz arc (despite me not watchin it yet) & the manga vers. of the duke battle are canonical here definitely because i have feelins
> 
> oh and this is goin to be a one shot series all within the same au so it’s easier to write then persay,,,, BFM, a chaptered fic, which is waitin for me to go back to hyperfixatin on danganronpa kjshkjf

Waves and waves of guilt rolled over his body, the weight of what he did almost too much. He couldn’t help but tell himself he was being selfish and cruel, only torturing the one person he cared for most. After all, he had refused to move on; Atem chose to be bound to Yugi, and rejected setting himself free. Rejected setting _ Yugi _ free.

That choice was made seven years ago, yet it still haunted him today. The two of them were in their mid-twenties, and he should have been over these feelings a long time ago as Yugi had reassured him that him staying was fine. However, he wasn’t.

The worst part of it all? Atem realized the reason he wished to stay wasn’t anything he was proud of. How badly he wanted the reason to be all the friendships he made or just simply not ready to leave because of how young he died… not that he had a crush. On… On-

“No, no, no, no, _ no _!” he softly whined to himself, face flushed, as he laid on his bed in the makeshift room. He lightly smacked his face childishly as if it did anything. Atem groaned as he rolled over to stare at the open entrance of his room, and promptly began to distract himself with how he could make where he slept more... homely.

It was one amongst many of the bricked chambers in his soul room, only without traps or monsters, instead with a lone mattress acting as a bed and a metal bar next to the entrance for hanging clothes. Even then, all that was hung up were a copy of Yugi’s normal school clothes, with a few extra hangers since Atem was wearing the pajamas that they were for. Unfortunately, thinking about the clothes only reminded him of his guilt. They were… just a copy of Yugi’s after all.

However, instead of degrading himself again, more of his _ selfish _ thoughts flooded his mind. Images of Yugi’s smiles flashed through his thoughts, sometimes accompanied by laughter and giggles, and Atem felt like he was on fire. He shoved his face down into his mattress as he couldn’t bear his desire to be close to him. And those memories of when Yugi was overconfident in duel against Atem and teased him? They made his heart beat way too fast.

It was absolute agony to hide how he felt from Yugi in fear of ruining their close bond. It wasn’t that their platonic relationship wasn’t filling at all- he quite enjoyed their friendship; Atem just wanted something different, more... romantic. He was rushing into though! He only realized what exactly he was feeling about a month ago!

...and about a month ago he had began to make a big mistake.

In the midst of his heart practically trying to end him, Atem felt Yugi calling him to come outside of the puzzle. His body froze immediately, frantically wondering if he forgot to fully block off his thoughts from the other. Well, he was surely about to find out, he told himself dreadfully.

“Sorry, I know it’s so late…” was the first thing he heard as his spirit faded into Yugi’s bedroom. Yugi was sitting up, staring down at the puzzle he held in between his hands, almost with sad eyes. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop at all… but I felt some distress from you,” he continued, holding a worried tone.

Atem carefully sat down in front of him, unsure of what he should be doing. “Aibou… I assure you that I’m fine,” he lied through his teeth, alarms going off inside of his head he hopped the other couldn’t hear. Oh gods, he wasn’t blushing, was he?!

“I want you to be honest with me,” he firmly requested, making Atem tense up even more. “You’ve been cold lately; you’ve been way less present, too. Is something going on? Are you avoiding something?” Yugi looked up with the last question, as if searching for the answer with his eyes.

Atem almost immediately broke eye contact, which he knew very well was uncharastic for him, but he couldn’t handle Yugi staring him down like that. What was he to do? Admit his feelings? It seemed like an impossible task, not to mention the fear of the outcome of doing such.

“I… I just need some space,” he settled on for an answer. “We’re together all the time, and I’m sure you’d like some breathing room as well.”

“Oh…”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” he rushed out to say before the was too much silence after Yugi’s response. He looked so _ hurt _. Atem couldn’t handle the thought of him believing that he didn’t want to be around him- if anything it was the opposite. He just didn’t want to risk him finding out… his secret.

Yugi, however, was caught off guard by the outburst. “M-Mou hitori no boku…?” Concern flooded his voice even more than before.

Atem glanced around the room as he tried to form a response, only to realize he had none. Instead, he settled to pull his knees up to his chest and curl in on himself to hide his face which felt like someone had set ablaze ten times over. He _ could _ just go back inside the puzzle but knew Yugi would only follow him, and he didn’t want him walking into the wrong room only to find a trap.

“What’s wrong?” Yugi asked with a soft voice, clearly noticing his other self having somewhat of a break down. “Atem, you know I’d never think less of you… no matter what you’re going through.”

After no response once again, Atem felt Yugi wrap his arms around him in a tight hug, and he almost thought he was going to die a second time. His heart was practically slamming against his chest. He badly wanted to tell Yugi that he wasn’t making his situation any better, but he knew that would only cause more panic. Not that he couldn’t be any more panicked than Atem at this point, though.

“I’m selfish,” Atem finally mumbled his real feelings.

“Is… is this about you choosing to stay?” Yugi questioned and got a soft nod from the other. “I don’t know if it makes you feel better… and I tried not to sway your decision on it, ever, because of this… but you could call me selfish too.”

“What do you mean?” He held a little bit of fear in his voice, scared that the other was about to say he wanted him to leave. However, Yugi only held him tighter.

“...I never wanted you to leave me,” he whispered as he pulled away from the hug. Atem looked up in surprise at what he had just said, in disbelief and trying to tell himself that he didn’t mean it in the same way Atem did. “I might be a little too attached,” Yugi giggled out nervously, and if his eyes weren’t fooling him, he was also a little red.

“A-Aibou… you’re too much for my heart,” Atem sighed, exasperated, as he let himself fall backwards onto the bed with a little bounce but no crease into the sheets as he was still a spirit after all. 

“I-I am?” Yugi replied with a little squeak in his voice, but he seemed to be less worried now. “I mean… are either of us selfish if we want the same thing? At least, I don’t think so…” 

Atem wanted to _ scream _ at how his partner had phrased that sentence. It sounded so… as if they were… No! He couldn’t take it and rolled over so that his face was buried into the covers. “You don’t mean thaaat,” he drug out the last word, not wanting to get his hopes up. This entire conversation was a mess, in his humble opinion.

“Why wouldn’t I? I care for you at lot, mou hitori no boku,” Yugi tried to reassure him, not really understanding why Atem was being more difficult than usual. Atem wished he had the confidence he had around literally anyone else to just let this blow over, and let their lives return back to how it was _ before _ these feelings became too much to ignore. “I love you.”

“I… love you, too,” Atem reluctantly said back, knowing that it was a normal sentence they said often, but Atem had a newfound meaning behind those words that made them harder to say.

“You- You can stay out here tonight if you want,” Yugi offered, “I know you think you’re being selfish by not moving on… but I really do enjoy spending time with you…” 

After a bit more of back and forth, Atem couldn’t help himself but accepting, finally just letting himself enjoy their time together as well. Perhaps eventually he’d confess his feelings for Yugi one day, but today was not that day. Instead, he curled up close to his crush and fell asleep in his embrace.

Maybe he’d let himself be a little selfish more often.

**Author's Note:**

> this wasn’t meant to be a song fic but I started listening to music halfway through writing this and it fit so I meeeean
> 
> anyways i’m definitely writing more bc yugioh is my #1 hyperfixation and don’t stop me now cause I’m havin a good time, havin a good time
> 
> comments fuel me okay thamnks hkjdhgskjd


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